8 years later . . .

Life is a journey, and it is full of ups and downs.  I began working at my school in 2008, as a second year teacher.  I had just moved to a new state with my husband, and a friend got me a job teaching third grade. 

I LOVED every second of it.

I was working down the hall from my friend, I had an amazing administrator and a FANTASTIC class!  That first class I had is a class that is forever in my heart.  I have written about them before, and I still am in touch with a handful of them even though they are now half way through their sophomore year of high school.

Over the years administration has changed, teachers have come and gone, and families have left.  New families have come into our school, and the school has changed over the years.  I didn't expect it to ever stay the same, but I didn't expect this.

I found out the last day of school before Thanksgiving Break that my contract will not be renewed for the next school year.  I was in shock when I found out, and I didn't even have a chance to ask questions.  I was trying to figure out why.  You know all of those insecurities that run through a person's head.  Am I not a good enough teacher?  Did I do something wrong?  Is what I believe in or stand up for wrong?  Did I not reach out to families?

My husband keeps reminding me that I need to not let this validate my teaching.  I know that I am a great teacher.  I know that I do everything I can to reach out to my students and their families.  I will not let this bring me down.  Even more than that, I refuse to let this effect my own children or my students.

During Thanksgiving break an email was sent out to families about next year's enrollment and my name was not included anywhere in the email.  I received a few texts, emails and Facebook messages about this.  There was a lot of concern, and a lot of people had questions.

Now I have faced three more weeks of teaching in my school knowing that I will not be coming back next year.    Those three weeks were fun!!  We embraced the crazy of Christmas and had so many fun days we didn't have time to think about what next year will look like.  Every now and then the four of us would look at each other and realize this was the last time that we would do this as a team.  This is the last time we will plan our amazing Polar Express day!  This is the last time we will go out to lunch before Christmas break.

Yes, I found out that I am not going to be on staff next year, but I will NOT let this effect my students this year.  I AM going to be a great teacher for them.  I AM going to continue to have amazing lessons.  I AM going to reach these students.  I AM going to make a difference.  I will NOT let this bring me down.  I will NOT let them see how defeated I feel.

For those who have been in this situation before I would LOVE your advice.  For those of you who are going through it now, I UNDERSTAND.  This STINKS!  I am looking forward to making more great memories this spring.  I am looking forward to holding my head high, and doing my job the only way I know how.  The BEST way I know how!